Friday, January 21, 2005

Ugly-Ass Americans

During Spring Break of my sophomore year in college, the WPI Men’s Glee Club went on tour to England. Technically, it wasn’t really my sophomore year. It was my freshman-and-a-half year, as my less than stellar grades encouraged me to go on the 4½ year college plan. The year was 1992. At that point in my life, I had met my future wife the previous spring, but didn’t know it would be her. Weird, eh?

Although I knew I would spend most of my free time gloriously drunk (do you know how many different kinds of beer there are in England?), I tried to make the trip memorable by keeping a travel journal. The journal became something of a Glee Club icon. When we toured Italy in 1994, I repeated my efforts. Sadly, the Italy journal was lost amidst a drunken melee in the streets of Rome. When the club decided to tour Ireland in 1996, I loaned them my England journal, as a guideline of sorts to continue the tradition. That was the last time I saw it, until three weeks ago.

My good friend Ryan, the Club President back in 1996, managed to save my England journal for almost 10 years. He returned it to me while we were visiting for New Years. He also returned by Birkenstocks, which he’s been keeping for two years. Thanks, Ry.

After reacquainting myself with the haze of memories, I’m amazed that we weren’t thrown out of the country. Here are a few of the entries and memorable quotes from my glee clubbing cohorts:

- I outdrank Jeff Lebeau the first night. No one threw up.

“I had my first smoke in the Boyscouts. I had my first drink in the Boyscouts. I had my first blowjob in the Boyscouts . . . but not by the Boyscouts.”

- Sunday morning: cute breakfast waitress

- I think about half of us have fallen asleep during the sermon.

- I guess I should say that the general consensus of the Club was that the girl with the short skirt in the front row was a 7.

- Allen read us a note from Beckwith to the girl in seat 14A on the plane. He wants to have a ‘mad passionate affair’ with her in the ‘UK’

“She had tats big enough to influence the tides.”

- This night we met a bunch of guys from Detroit who told us they had just blown $120 on a sex show. We laughed at them.

“Personally, I think Oxford is a bunch of snobby bastards who think they are superior because they go to a school that has been around for 1,000 years.”