Monday, March 06, 2006

Oscar Wrap

OK, I actually stayed up to watch the entire thing. My reason? Jon Stewart. He was awesome. The rest of it pretty much sucked. It was like they walked through a valium mister to enter the theater. A few thoughts:

- Uma Thurman was definitely on something. I hope it was only martinis.
- Lauren Bacall needs better contacts and/or weaker Vodka & Tonics.
- Best Schtick – Lily Tomlin & Meryl Streep – very cute
- John Williams was beat twice – in the same category. That’s a serious Oscar smackdown, baby.
- I am now of the firm belief that Ben Stiller is the single most unfunny person in Hollywood. He needs to be hit by a bus.

There were two categories in which no one guessed correctly. The first, predictably, was the Documentary Short. Nobody ever gets that one. Nobody ever sees the films. Nuff said.

The second? Best Film. Can you believe it? I’ll bet that this is the first Best Film winner that no one I know has seen (DVD doesn’t count).

The competition was over before the show was. Everyone was statistically eliminated at the Best Actress award. By whom, you ask? Well, I guess I have to tell you – Esther.

Esther – 13 correct. She ran away with it.
Scott (me) – 11 correct
Mikey & John – 9 correct
Bridget – 6 correct
Saunders & Colleen – 5 correct
Sarah & Gina – 4 correct (watch more E!)

Leah was disqualified because she procrastinated all week, and didn’t get me her picks until after I printed out the spreadsheet. Sorry, babe. OK, time to do some work.