Thursday, May 11, 2006


Today I am going to the store to buy a case of hairspray cans laden with Chlorofluorocarbons, which I will then release into the atmosphere. I hope Mother Nature chokes on it. She deserves it for spoiling our perfect plan for the boys’ birthdays.

Only parts of the plan are wrecked. We had a great day yesterday for the twins, starting with presents at breakfast. Oh, the pain that Leah and I have inflicted on ourselves.

I’m bitter about the fact that there was no big party last night due to the Gorby Ruttles invading our house. The Gorby Ruttles (always capitalized), for those not in the know, are my father’s term for any disease or sickness that finds its way into a host body and wreaks havoc with your life. Since the doctor was only 80% sure that it was chicken pox, Sam now has the Gorby Ruttles.

Pop, Grandma Marcia, and Aunt Gina were brave enough to come over last night for pizza and cake.

The boys ripped through their presents with wild abandon.

Then time, space, and the laws of Physics come to a screeching halt when Aunt Gina brought out her presents: Nemo, Milo, and as of this morning, Fish.

The real kicker for me is that for the past week, I’ve been neglecting my family, my work, and my sanity in an attempt to finish the play structure. Turns out, I did a damn fine job. Check it out.

Problem is, you can’t play on a play structure in the pouring rain, which is what the weatherman told me to expect all day today and tomorrow. But we took Sam outside at 6:45 this morning so he could “open” his present before going back to the doctor’s office.