Tuesday, May 23, 2006

L. Ron's En Fuego!

Someone from the Buffalo Church of Scientology was nice enough to drop off some reading material on our front door this past weekend. I perused the pamphlet while we drove around Sunday evening on our “adventure”. Our adventure basically consisted of getting everyone out of the house after a weekend of dismal weather before the velociraptors had a chance to do any further damage to our belongings.

So Leah and I parked everyone in their seats and made them choose which way we turned. We ended up in some interesting neighborhoods, drove down a bunch of streets we had never seen before, and saw just about every construction project in the entire City before going to Santisiero’s for dinner. Yum.

So, while reading the propaganda, and it was good propaganda, I saw that they included a photo of the founder, L. Ron Hubbard.

Here are my editorial comments:

Call me crazy, but good old Lafayette (yup, that’s the L) reminds me of someone – my Glee Club director from college, who also happens to be a flaming homosexual. Maybe it’s the ascot and the slicked back hair, but Lafayette seems to me like he’s repressing something. Sure, he married three times, two at once for a short while, in fact. Sure, he had lots of kids, one of whom happened to committed suicide because Daddy’s “religion” doesn’t tolerate mental illness or homosexuality. But a picture really is worth a thousand words.

The picture made my funny bone tingle, so I checked him out on Wiki. This dude is one big, fat, walking lie. He lied about his military service. He lied about his marriage status. He lied about why he conceived Scientology. He lied about his income. He abused his wives. He is also an unindicted co-conspirator and convicted felon.


So let’s take a look at what this liar, criminal, repressed homosexual*, wife-beater started.

He started a religion? Not really. No religion I know of charges its members thousands of dollars to further their knowledge of it. Here’s what L. Ron was quoted as saying, in some form or another, by numerous sources:

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."

I didn’t know Jesus, Allah, & Buddha were millionaires.

Thanks for the pamphlet, though. It will make a great fire starter.

* I have no issues with homosexuality, but rather those that seek to deny it exists or that it is a result of mental illness or aberration.