Dear Santa,
I hope you have had a good year. Now that Halloween is over, I am focusing my attentions on the prime holiday of the season – yours. I have no use for Thanksgiving. I get food whenever I want. Just ask my Grandma. Christmas, apparently, is another story.
I’ve been told by my parents this year that good behavior is required for the delivery of presents. This disturbs me greatly. I was unaware of this fact, and do not feel I should be held responsible for my past behavior. It’s not that I have been bad by comparison, but I still enjoy causing Mommy & Daddy a little grief now and then, and would prefer it to be consequence free.
To that end, I propose the following: we start the behavior watch at a later date, to be determined by arbitrators. You deliver presents as outlined in our letters to be sent in the coming month. And, as evidenced in the photo below, I shall release Donner.
Yours Sincerely,
Aidan Stoddard (for Samuel & Noah Stoddard also)
P.S. Merry Christmas, fat man.