Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Doing It All For My Babies

We listened to Huey Lewis tunes during dinner last night. Noah plays a mean air saxophone.

Remember this?





Yes? No? Really Scott, why are you showing me a picture of a jungle gym?

Aaahhhhh, you who know so much. They aren’t called jungle gyms anymore. Maybe it’s because they are neither found in jungles nor are they gyms. Maybe there is some awful, leftover, unenlightened, 1960’s racism in the term that we are all unaware of. I truly don’t know. And truly don’t care.

For those of you who don’t know, three years ago I worked my very rotund, white bottom off to build this jungle gym play structure for the boys’ birthdays. They had about six months of enjoyment until we up and moved to Connecticut.

Like a spurned woman, our play structure sat in the back yard of our Buffalo house and patiently planned the demise of my job and the necessitation of our move back into her arms. She also has some sort of communicative ability with Sam, who, upon our return in January, promptly asked when we would be bringing her over to the new place.

He also planned out exactly where it would sit in the yard – after he had torn down the fence between Grandma’s house and ours. Ha ha. Funny. Only not so much. The fence came down last week. And I went to visit the good old girl in the hope that she would come quietly without a fight.

Let me say for the record that I built the crap out of this thing. Every piece of lumber is oversized, and all the connections are either lag-bolted or carriage bolted (that means very, very strong). It exceeds all Federal Government standards for children’s play structure specifications. I kid you not. It’s better than the Obama girls’ – I’ve seen pictures.

I started to feel my way around tentatively, reacquainting myself with all her angles. She was all mine, swings to slide. My plan of attack was virtually guaranteed for success. She was coming home with me. Slowly yet confidently, I pulled out my shiny, silver socket wrench. I found the spot from where everything else would come undone. The socket fell snugly into place over the head of the bolt and I gave a short tug. Then another. She gave way. I gave a full stroke. Another. Another. More quickly now. Almost there. And . . . YES! Out it came.

It felt painful and wonderful all at the same time. Though I didn’t want to pull her to pieces, I knew then that she was going to bend to my will with no fuss at all.

I dove in once more, more forcefully this time. I found my next mark and applied the same pressure as before. It was a practiced skill now. In a moment I would have my second small victory. I placed the socket wrench into position and yanked.

Blinding White Light.

Darkness.

Pain.

What the hell just happened?

I was on my knees when my eyes opened, the wrench on the ground. The lag bolt I was working on had snapped, and the socket wrench had rebounded and struck me full on square in the middle of the forehead. It hurt. Badly.

I came out from underneath the platform of the structure and sat down for a second to regain my bearings. My head was pounding, but I wasn’t disoriented. I figured at that point that hard as the blow was, I came out on the good side of the collision. Gingerly, my fingers explored the fast growing bump. They came away bright red.

At this point, I knew I had better get someone to witness my stupidity. I knocked on our tenants’ door and luckily Lisa was home. It wasn’t a large gash, and there wasn’t a lot of blood. And Lisa’s a nurse. Best combination possible. Bandage securely in place, I picked up my tools and loaded up the car to go home, utterly crushed by my play structure’s rejection. I spent the rest of the afternoon with a steady diet of Ibuprofen and an ice pack.

The next weekend I came back with power tools. Bitch.



Friday, March 27, 2009

Kids. Can't live with 'em. Can't sell 'em.

I'm a day or two off from the BufBloPoFo schedule, but this only occurred to me today:

I spoke with a friend this afternoon who is facing some difficult decisions in his life in the coming months. He told he was concerned that our friendship might be damaged by his choices. This was my answer:

"You decide what is right for you. Let what other people think be damned. If you feel that you are making the best choice for yourself, then your true friends will stand by you no matter what. And I will be there whenever you need me."

It occurred to me that this translates into my belief system for my children. This is the single best advice I can think of for parents:


You love your children like nothing else on this earth. Every decision you make affects their well being. Never let what other people think of your decisions affect how you make them. Taking people's advice is one thing, but caving in to other people's opinions of how you should raise your kids only serves to create self-doubt in your ability to be a good parent. And every parent knows that your kids see cracks in the armor better than your worst enemy.


Easier said than done? Surely. We lost some very dear friends for three years for this very reason. Thankfully, time heals all wounds (except dismemberment or losing an eye), and we resolved our differences. Now we vacation together.

It also helps that they supply me with snacks and treats.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Almost 7

Sammy's school picture this year (beat you to it, Leah).




Sammy's latest activity after finishing his homework. He didn't just say yes, so I guess that's something . . .



And a quick story:

Sam does not have homework over the weekends. The school policy is that weekends should be family time, not school time. Obviously this will change as he gets older. And apparently he already knows it, because on Friday he convinced his table to ask for extra homework over the weekend. And true to genetic form, the Stoddard boy ended up doing his homework on Monday morning five minutes before he walked out the door.

I looked over his shoulder as he toiled away, endlessly adding and subtracting single digit numbers. His math homework has been the same thing since January. I'm all for rote memorization in some areas, but Sam doesn't need to see something more than twice for him to remember it. He told me weeks ago that he is very bored with school, so at home we've learned a bit of everything: algebraic equations, basic geometry, multiplication, addition and subtraction of integers (that's negative numbers for you liberal arts majors), and how to "carry over" for adding large strings of numbers. He just soaks it all in. I discovered last week that he has essentially taught himself fractions, thanks to his Leap Pad.

When I told his teacher that he's been learning how to solve equations at home, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. I'm pretty sure she thought I was full of crap. As I examined his last sheet this morning, I did a double take. It was an entire sheet of advanced double digit, multiple number addition problems. His teacher was actually testing both him and me.

He finished the entire sheet in less than five minutes. Take that, Mrs. Sullivan!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

BufBloPoFo - Day I Really Don't Care At This Point

Ahhhhh, there’s nothing like the smell of spring in the air, the feeling of the rebirth of life, the shirking of one’s commitments to BufBloPoFo 09. . . (that's Buffalo Blog Post for a Fortnight for those of you too lazy to click the link, which will be most of my readers, 2 of the 3 anyway)

While I feel badly about not keeping up

I’ve read all the participants' entries

I truly admire Mikey for running this thing. Good job, you. But really, I don’t take instruction well anymore. So I'll post when I'm damn good and ready. My reasons why I’ll save for tomorrow’s post (brag about something). For today, I will offer up a smattering of an absolutely brilliant meme that has arisen from the fiery postings of the past few days.

My Favorite All-Time, Hall of Fame, But Not Last Meals*

(*That I’ve Actually Paid For)

A preface: Since December, my family has lost 40% of our income. 40 fucking percent. Take a quick moment to calculate what impact that would have on you and yours. There are as many memorable meals that I’ve been privileged to take part in that I have not been responsible for. The fact that we’re finding ourselves able to survive this is a testament to my entire family (more on that tomorrow, for anyone who cares). So I’ve discarded any meal that we were not directly involved with funding in some part.

Oh, one more thing: Leah and I came up with a lot more than just these. She’s going to post her portion of the list. Her #1 is by far, the best and most unbelievable meal imaginable.

Really.

You will need very badly to read about it.

Washington Square Tavern, Brookline - the first bar where the bartender knew my name. Well, maybe not my name, but every time I walked in the doors, by the time I reached the bar, a half Sapphire - half Belvedere martini was already in process. MMmmmmmmmm. I seem to remember the food being really good as well.

Mistral, Boston -Back in our free-living Boston days, Leah and I decided that we were going to become opera aficionados. Our introduction to opera on the social scene was a production of The Magic Flute by Mozart and dinner at this restaurant. When we walked in the door, we were transported to a world in which we clearly did not belong. The wine list included bottles that were over $2,000. The host offered to have a limo take us to the theatre, as we were running a little late. The seared tuna was to die for, as was the view from the twelve foot arched windows.

Bay Tower Room, Boston - Shortly after my mother died in 1998, my family decided that we were going to get together every 3-4 months and celebrate life. The Bay Tower Room was our first foray into this territory. The restaurant, which sadly has closed in the time since, was on the 33rd floor of a building overlooking Boston harbor (see above photo). The seating was dispersed over two levels, and the glass facade was open to both the harbor and the stars above. My mother looked down (I hope) and watched my family drink bottle upon bottle of champagne, wine, port, and whiskey. We ate some of the best food we've ever had, but it was all lost. As was the beginning of our grief over her loss.

Wolfgang's/Smith & Wollensky's/Peter Luger's - NYC - Every year for the last 5 my father, brothers, and I have met in New York City in April to attend the annual Auto Show at the Javit Center. We have a tradition of having lunch at Carmine's in Times Square. We also have a tradition of seeking out the best steak dinner in the city that we can find. Dad pays for lunch. We pay for dinner. And let me tell you, we do it in style. At Wolfgang's, we enjoyed a three-tiered appetizer of raw sea-food. At Smith and Wollensky's, we became such good friends with the waiter that he bought us our dessert drinks (20 year old port - yum!). This never-ending quest has led us to a number of unforgettable meals, which I choose to lump together here at #3. I have eaten the best steak in the entire world during these outings. And the chance to spend time with my father and brothers is not something that I will readily give up. We are forced to downgrade to pizza and beer this year, but we will someday rise again from the ashes to continue our search for the perfect slice of cow.

Le Petit Zinc, Paris - On Valentine's Day 1998, I surprised Leah with a long weekend in Paris, France. Our favorite story from this trip is how Leah lost her passport in the taxi ride from the airport to our hotel, but there are some other wonderful experiences that we don't readily share. Truly, I don't remember how I stumbled across this place. I am not your average world traveler. I do not stick to the well-trodden path. However it came to be, when we walked in, the reservations we had were non-existent (ant? Mikey?) But Leah, bless her French at heart soul, pulled out her college French and spoke to the maitre de and smiled. He actually told us that he was seating us only because she was cute. It was worth every bit of the flirtation.

Breakfast - 90 Kilsyth Rd, Brighton, MA - More than the location, more than the food, more than the atmosphere. A meal shared with true friends is the one that leaves me wishing we could share the experience just one more time. Jesse, Michelle, Colleen, Suzanne, Mark, Ryan, Debbie, Ken, Leah, Gina, Brian & Dena (you get half credit for making the cross-country trek as often as you did) and whoever else we could fit into our little one-bedroom apartment. The ones that I remember best are the New Year's Day mornings after our night's out at Northeast Brewing Company's all inclusive (glasses too!) celebrations. We would crash wherever we landed. But whenever we woke up, Leah would aleady be awake and cooking in our tiny little kitchen with the weird, glass, floor level cabinets. Blueberry muffins, pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, fresh orange juice, and exquisitely painful hangovers were the menu. It was here that Suzanne taught me that every guest got to eat first, no matter how hungry I was! It was here that we laughed endlessly at Ryan's biting sarcasm. We sang silly songs (except Suzanne). We hung out around the tiny kitchen table. We watched hours upon hours of horrible movies. We ate our food and then didn't move for half a day, until we regretfully returned to our regular lives. Still friends. Still happy. Still fearless of what the world had to throw at us.

I sorely miss these days. I sorely miss my friends. Friends through thick and thin. Friends who wouldn't hesitate to tell you when you were acting like an idiot, and would actually make fun of you for doing such. Friends who, when you called them on a Thursday evening, would scream at you, "NO ONE I KNOW WOULD CALL DURING FRIENDS!!" and promptly hang up. Friends who after feuding with for years you can call up and say "My God we've been stupid" and pick right up where you left off. Friends who you can call after months of not communicating at just have a simple conversation as though you still lived down the street. Friends who, if you ever truly needed help, would be at your side in the time that it took to get in their car and drive. Friends who don't judge you, but will not hold back their opinions. I love you all.

How about breakfast in Buffalo?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

For Leah

A is for Amazing
B is for Breathtaking
C is for Compassionate
D is for Determined & Deserving & Dedicated & Dazzling
E is for Excellent
F is for Feminine
G is for Genius
H is for Honorable
I is for Intelligent & Identity & Integrity
J is for Just
K is for Kind
L is for Leah & Loving & Learned
M is for Mother
N is for Nurturing
O is for Outstanding
P is for Professional
Q is for Qualified
R is for Really, Really, Really Cute
S is for Searching & Steadfast
T is for Tender
U is for Unwavering
V is for Virtuous & Vivacious
W is for Wonderful
X is for nothing. No good words actually begin with X besides xylophone and xenophobe. Stupid letter.
Y is for Youthful & Yearning
Z is for Zowie!


They don't know what they're missing.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Let Them Eat Cake

The boys are not overly picky eaters. Sure, they have their respective favorites. Sam can sit down and eat an entire box of cherry tomatoes without breathing. Aidan will devour bell peppers whenever they are put in front of him. And Noah? Noah likes spaghetti sauce. And orange juice.

They also each have foods that they can't stand. Sam thoroughly dislikes bell peppers and spaghetti sauce. Aidan hates orange juice and tomatoes. And Noah absolutely refuses to eat pizza or tomatoes.

Sense something of a pattern here?

Mealtimes in recent weeks have degenerated into elementary school versions of Animal House. Each one incessantly tries to get the other two to laugh until they snort milk out their noses. They sing songs. They complain that they are full. They make rhymes that I'm sure are causing Dr. Seuss to cry out in agony in whatever afterlife he exists in. Take that, Geisel!

So Daddy dropped the hammer last week. Boys started going to bed with no dinner. Boys had no time for anything but teeth brushing and pajamas after dinner. Boys had all snacks removed from their small handed grasp. It made me miserable. And it didn't work.

Leah didn't buy into the heavy handed approach this time. Instead, she painted. In our kitchen, we now have a door that functions as a chalkboard, thanks to the coolest paint I've ever seen. At the top of said chalkboard there is a note that reads:

Good Meals:

5

5 More Until Rainforest Cafe!


Bribery.

Works every time.


After the boys got hold of the chalk, the door quickly became a crowd of scribbles and odd pictures. But above where the twins could reach, the following note was written:

Dear Mommy, thank you for the yummy dinner on March 1.


The next morning, I walked into the kitchen to see the response:

Dear Sammy, you're welcome. I'll feed you again on March 2.