Thursday, February 10, 2005

A Novel Idea

An Open Letter to the Erie County Legislature from the Lions of the Buffalo Zoo



Dear Politicians:

Every day we watch hundreds of potential meals walk by our pen. We all have our favorites, mostly the fat kids that say, “Ooooooooh”. The tigers like the older ones, but they’re too chewy.

How dare you threaten to take the one enjoyment we have in life away from us? Thanks to your abject incompetence, The Meat Providers are canceling events, out of fear of budget problems.

We, the Lions of the Buffalo Zoo, have an idea. We think that all you legislators should be locked in the old Aud, chained to a round table. In the center of the table will be a large hour glass. You will have until the hour glass is finished to fix your budget problems.

If, by the time the sand runs out, you haven’t succeeded, then we will help you.

One by one.

P.S. You could sell tickets! We bet there are more than a few people who would pay good money to see some old-style Roman Justice meted out.