Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Free Willy

One of the more amusing things that has been happening lately is that Sammy has discovered a new toy. He takes it with him wherever he goes. Sam figured out that he can aim the little guy in his shorts, creating all sorts of interesting possibilities. Leah received the first dose of “Penis Awareness” last week.

“Mommy, I gonna pee on the ceiling.”
“No, I gonna pee all over the floor.”
“I gonna pee in the garbage can.”

Two of the three statements above actually came true.

His first experiment in urine trajectory analysis came this past Thursday. Leah and I were in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner when we heard a voice from the bathroom say, “Yuck.”

Yes, Sam had attempted to pee on the rim of the toilet instead of the bowl. The results of this experiment revealed that our toilet rim does not drain into the bowl. It disperses the liquid evenly until it overflows, or an absorbent material is encountered, such as a little boy’s pants. Just add those to the laundry pile, and file the results under “Do Not Attempt Further Analysis”.

His next hypothesis was tested on Saturday, when Sam decided to see what happened when he redirected the stream into the trash basket. Our trash basket is truly a basket. It’s made of bamboo or some such porous material. Thus, after reaching saturation point, the pee went flooding onto the floor. His fascination with the resultant pooling of liquid is what got him caught. Leah walked into the bathroom to see him beaming, standing on his stool, surveying the little yellow pond he created on the tile floor.

Has anyone noticed how hard it is to scold your children when you can’t keep a straight face from laughing so hard?

I can’t wait until I see his name in rough, yellow, cursive writing in the snow outside our house.