Monday, September 11, 2006

Time for a Rant

This is a combination rant. Hold on.

A Letter to the Asshat who locked his children in his car at Delaware park yesterday:

Hey, dickhead. Can you understand me? I know American slang is difficult to understand sometimes, but I think you know I’m talking to you. Yeah, you, the Eastern European douchebag who thinks that it’s acceptable to lock two children in his car while he goes off to play soccer.

Yeah, you heard me. Soccer. Not football. You play soccer. In America, we play soccer. It’s a stupid game anyway. And the importance you and all your idiot brethren put on it is beyond my comprehension.

But what you did yesterday is deplorable. You put two little girls, one no older than my twins, in your American car and left them there, baking in the sun, with a bottle of water and a ball, for at least 45 minutes. What kind of genetically backwards, mentally retarded, ass-fuck of a man could do that? Is a game really more important to you than the safety and well-being of your children?

I warned you. I took the time to walk over to your stupid game, find you, and tell you that I was calling the police if you didn’t let them out. You couldn’t be bothered. Next time, I’ll bring my baseball bat. Yeah, you know. Baseball. An American Sport.

Maybe a couple of broken windows will get your attention. At least it will let your kids get some cool air. I bet I’d be protected under the Good Samaritan laws. Because the fucking Buffalo Police apparently can’t be bothered to respond to a call for help.

Yeah, I mean you, Mr. Protector of the Public. I waited for 45 minutes after I called 911 to report two small children locked in a car by the Nottingham side tennis courts at Delaware Park. Nobody ever showed up. You people want a pay raise? DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS.

Oh, and back to my friend in the gay knee socks. You might have finally come to your senses after your halftime break, of whatever the fuck you call it in that so-called sport of yours, but I know you’ll do it again. That’s why I’ll be there waiting for you next Sunday. Have a good game, asshole.